Foley explains Bush's No Child's Behind Left plan

TALLAHASSEE, Fla. - Republicans' hold on U.S. Rep. Mark Foley (news, bio, voting record)'s seat has gone from safe to shaky overnight. And most Americans don't want anything to do with Foley's 'seat' at all.

Foley was invited by President George Bush to explain his controversial 'No Child's Behind Left' plan where Republicans will team up with NAMBLA members and the Behind the Log Cabin Republicans in what Bush calls his 'New Rape Based Initiative'.

Critics admitted they were caught by surprise by Bush's bold attempt to energize his pedophile Republican base much as he energized other Christians in the 2000 elections.

Republicans vowed to push through Bush's rider to the administration's new Patriot Torture Act that would fund 'more revealing Underoos commercials.' In an apparent attempt to head off expected Democratic protests, Republicans went on the offensive stating that Democrats "don't have the stomach to rape little boys" and that Man Boy love was an important tool in the War on Terror which met with thunderous applause from House Republicans.

House Democrats erupted into angry shouts when Foley looked at a young boy and remarked, "does that make you horny?" and "Do I turn you on?"

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